Since Barbie has taken up the hobby of standing over the gap in the foundation of our demolished garage in which a colony of bees is living, she’s caught 10-15 and spat them out. 
She am become death, the destroyer of their worlds.

I’ve just watched one bee gently trying to negotiate the conservatory door to get to the chive flowers next to it.

The storyteller in me wants to say the bee was considering her options as she bumbled around the threshold, “That horrible black shadow lives in there, I fear for my safety, she has taken many of my sisters, I best not go inside.”

But… it was just that the bin, propping the door open, was in the way of the flowers and she needed to approach from a different angle.

There is an argument for the evolutionary function of narrative storytelling within human society. To be able to hold an idea and build a narrative around it allows us to share information that is advantageous and makes cooperation within a group much easier. 
Remembering where all the Good Resources are when you can’t write down directions? Build a narrative of the landscape and share it.

To be able to ascribe intent to others we live with means we can at least try a little to relate or understand what they are thinking or feeling from their actions by comparing them to our own lived experiences.
“Oh, his sister got eaten by that giant cave bear that got my nan, no wonder he’s in a mood, I get it.”

We build gods and monsters with our minds using narrative. What we don't understand we can build a story about. It helped us to feel safer in a largely chaotic environment and to keep us safe through building a social structure. Landslide? Trolls.
Don’t want your child to die from landslides? Don’t let them stray too far from the settlement - tell them trolls will get them if they do.
“If we all get together to have a party we can sacrifice that big cow and leave some out for the trolls so they don’t send any landslides at us.”
Community cohesion.

Our minds can transcend our current time and condition, they allow us to imagine the past, the future, the present but in a different locale. They give us the tools to plan, modes of insight, ways to develop as a group. Our minds and the stories they produce are why we are where we are today.

Our minds also mean we ascribe intent where it is not present.
We build stories around the inanimate, “The printer hates me."
We construct goals for non humans, “That bee is frightened to go into the conservatory because of my bee killing dog.”
We build back stories and schemes for other humans, “That person has parked over the lines with the express intention of ruining my day.”

THIS skill.
Gets in the way of objective observation.

THIS skill. 
Is why we struggle to understand our dogs.

Dogs are not storytellers, they do not exist in our world of complex world building, world dominating narrative. 
They exist in the world that we have built around them, they interact with the strange environments of our homes, they walk the artificial lines of our towns and cities, they are expected to comply to the social norms that we have constructed in order that we (largely) don’t off each other at every turn.

They have lived with us since we began to tell stories, but have never developed the capacity to match us in that regard. They are just happy to be on the team, sharing our homes and resources and furthering their species by the fortunate accident of being, like us, social living animals.
If dogs did not fundamentally get along with humans, they wouldn’t live in our houses, they wouldn’t help us to do tasks, they wouldn’t cope with their status as “man’s best friend.” To evolve as closely in tandem with humans as dogs have, they had to not die by our hands, every generation since whenever it was that the first shared wolf ancestors realised it made sense to eat from our middens.
Their story, their actual story, is one of being nice enough and helpful enough for our hunter gatherer ancestors not to kill them all. So they were able to stick around long enough to see us farm and then forge bronze and iron and build cathedrals, steam engines and nuke things.

The story we tell ourselves of dogs is one that fits our own narrative, one of domination and exploitation. It is the human condition to see them as other, to build them into creatures who act with moral intent in order that we can smash them down and control them. To leverage othering in order to control is to be human. It’s those storytelling, time travelling, intention applying brains doing what they have always done.
We have to create monsters in order to cohere against a common enemy, we share the adversity of life with a “house wolf” in order to excuse abuse towards them in the name of “training.”

In the year of our lawd 2025, with access to all of the planet’s knowledge at our fingertips, we can see from multitudes of scientific, behavioural studies of dogs that they are not, in fact, attempting to overthrow their opposable thumbed overlords. 
Though, simply scanning their shared history with us should be enough information to glean this. They’ve had more than enough time to bring us to our knees, being as it is they have shared their lives beside us for maybe thirty thousand years. Some of those years they were more than capable of ending us, what with those big teeth they have.

By building complex narratives of intent around our dogs, we lose objectivity. It’s a quicker and easier route to simply label behaviour as dominant, attention seeking, aggressive, trying to rule the roost. When actually these behaviours often are a result of a lack of communication between dog and guardian, misunderstanding dogs being dogs and calling it belligerence.

The only way to safely cohabit in contemporary society with pet dogs is to make an effort to understand them in their dog-ness. It is a difficult thing to do, it takes time and effort and we have to throw away our prior, broad brush, easy answer misconceptions about dogs.

To paint them as creatures seeking to overthrow their human keepers can only put us into a position of conflict, and we know from experience, observation and scientific study that dogs can only handle conflict up until a point, at which they resist. And resistance from a dog looks a hell of a lot like a dog attempting to overthrow their human keeper through violence.

So the cycle continues.

We have to stop telling tales.

We have to stop Crying Wolf and start to take the time to understand what our dogs want and need from us. We will never be able to hit every goal, but by taking a step back and considering them as they are, rather than as we think they are, we will make strides to help them live as they always have done. 
Right there with us, just happy to be part of the team.

It is reductive to say that dogs “exist in the moment.”
It’s a fallacy, used to apply unnecessarily harsh control methods onto them.
"They won’t remember it. They get over it. Move on."

Excuse me, have you ever truly met a dog?

When you leave your home with your dog, if you are sighted, you see your local area by means of your brain processing the light that hits the environment and bounces back into your eyes. You are experiencing at the speed of light when you step out into the day.

Dogs, as primarily olfactory (scent-based) animals, their experience of the world always contains echoes of what has gone before.
Chemical traces, pheromones, of dogs who have walked past your home last night, the cat that walked along your garden gate in the early hours.
Your dog is a literal time traveller.

Sensing residual paths of others moving through space - Those paths are stronger on the most recent footprints
Your dog knows which direction they went, hours ago, when you were all asleep.

The mixture of scent, the layers that are relevant to them versus those that are not.
Your dog can distinguish, they know who on the dog field has treats on them, even if that person forgot they had them in their pocket.

Scent carries emotional learning experiences, as with us, the smell of your gran’s perfume or Sunday dinner will stick with us. But our olfactory system is pathetic, we get 20% of what our dogs do when we take in a scent.
Your dog can have an emotional response to a molecule of a scent that was laid down a day ago.

…If they have vision, they also see. They experience the present now, too.

Try to think how that must feel.
Today, last night, yesterday. Friends, foes all there in front of you all at once.
Imagine all this, while someone is simultaneously demanding your attention and expecting you to perform a command before crossing a road.

Never forget that your dog experiences things you could never imagine. Your brain is human, your culture and lived experience are human. You will never truly be able to get into the mind of a dog; it is not within your imaginative capacity to do that. Such an intense sensory experience would be overwhelming, even for a short time. You’d go mad, you are not set up for it.

We are forever hobbled by our human-centric way of seeing, but that’s fine, if you are open to accepting that and using it to inform your behaviour.

If you are open to engaging with dogs as complex thinking, feeling, experiencing entities and give them space to dog.

Understanding the rich, multi-layered world your dog experiences can be complex and challenging. If you live with a dog (an animal!) And you’re struggling to bridge the gap between your human perception and your dog's lived reality, and you're looking for guidance in fostering a deeper connection based on empathy and understanding, get in touch.

Let's work together to help you truly understand and support your pal!

Do you find yourself shouting "no" at your dog to stop them from doing something and find it works sometimes but fails at others? Let’s have a look at some of the reasons that's happening and alternative (more effective) options.

"No" doesn’t mean anything to your dog.
We are humans. Humans are generally verbal animals. We love words - reading them, writing them, and saying them with our mouths. Gotta love a word. Dogs, on the other hand, do not understand words. Much as I would love the Disney movies to be true to life and have my dog burst into song about how much she hates cats, dogs can’t speak. They do not come with an inbuilt dog-to-human translator. They don’t know what words mean until we pair them with a consequence.

Think back to when you taught your dog "sit." You likely lured your dog's front end up with a tasty piece of food, and when their bum hit the floor, you told them "good" and fed them the food. The dog learned that when the human says "sit," if they put their bum on the floor, they are likely to be given a piece of food.
Word + Action = Consequence

Now think about when you habitually say "no" to your dog.

• Is it when they jump, muddied from a walk, up onto the couch?
  
• Perhaps when they see and lunge at a squirrel?
• Do you shout "no" at them when they are hoofing off across the park after another dog?
• Maybe "NO" reverberates through the woods as you see your dog about to get shoulder-deep in an enormous fox poo?

Each of those "no"s means something different -

• Get down
  
• Don't pull
• Come back here
• Do not roll in that poo!!!
  

So they actually mean nothing to your dog, really.

At best, you will say, shout, or scream the word at a high enough volume that you successfully interrupt your dog, but they haven't learned anything other than that you sound scary sometimes.

What could you do instead of "no"?

A decompression day is dedicated time for your dog to unwind, reset, and lower its stress and excitement levels. While a 'decompression period' is often associated with newly adopted rescue dogs, decompression days are an excellent practice for all dogs. Just as humans benefit from downtime and relaxation, decompression days provide dogs with the opportunity to find their 'baseline' and regain a sense of calm. Decompression days can be especially helpful for dogs that are nervous, reactive, or have high energy levels and are always on the go. Decompression days can help teach these dogs to self-regulate after exciting or frightening incidents and generally encourage some chill time.

Decompression activities focus on allowing your dog to engage in natural behaviours. They are intended to promote relaxation and mental well-being. You can offer these activities during dog walks or while hanging out at home.

To improve your dog's behaviour, it's essential to understand the factors that influence it. Behaviour modification in dogs is a complex process that involves addressing specific issues and considering various factors. By working with or changing these factors, you can have a significant impact on your dog's behaviour without formal training. Let's have a look some of these factors.